the season of "bright sadness"

yesterday was ash wednesday on the western church's calendar and marked the beginning of the season of lent. having come from traditions that didn't mark the calendar beyond christmas and easter, my wife and i have over the last five years had desire to make meaning and tradition around such rhythms. lent is often referred to as "spring time of the soul" but this year i connect more with the orthodox way of describing it as the season of "bright sadness." this phrase holds the tensions well of what it means to name death and have hope. of what it means for me to be struggling with depression a profound sense of disconnect with my heart while at the same time to be expecting the birth of our 3rd child and the conclusion of what has felt like an eternal masters degree program- both occurring shortly after easter this year.
the 40 days is evocative of israel's time wandering in the desert. more directly it is a practice in reference to Christ's period of fasting and temptation in the desert. if anything is to be said about deserts- and ask any desert fathers or mothers you know- is that they are the beginning place for spiritual formation and direction. it was a place for israel and Christ himself to bring into practice a full dependence on the Father.
in efforts to return to moderation, i've given up coffee, sugar and music amongst other things over the years. the presence of desire is supposed to be re-directed to focus on God. what i love is that grace is built into the lenten rhythm- the sundays don't count in the 40 days, and are to be celebrated as mini-easters, feast days where fasts can be broken- they are pauses or windows in time. (if you intend to fast somehow, meredith, a friend and former classmate who now pastors on the east coast, recently wrote this brief and helpful article on fasting, full of good reminders.)
i rarely blog this many words, but all this to say that this year, in a way that feels more true that other years, i can say that i need what lent offers- and i hope to enter it in community with a degree of intentionality my life has been laking of late. how will you mark lent this year? how will you anticipate, remember and live into the narrative of holy week?

dark was the night

this compilation is great for a number of reasons:
first, its a good cause, proceeds will "benefit the Red Hot Organization – an international charity dedicated to raising money and awareness for HIV and AIDS through popular culture."
secondly it stands as an accurate snapshot of a particular segment of current music culture. the participants are somewhat iconic and representative an exciting season in music- check out the tracklist.
third- it's just damn good. [thanks johnathan for pointing it out!]

[happy] president's day

this has been floating around on various blogs, i like it. it's by patrick moberg.

current soundtrack

Some Quotes from: On Fairy Stories- J.R.R. Tolkien

Children have a capacity for belief and an appetite for marvels that make us associate fairy stories with the world of children. They are capable of literary belief in ways that we adults, find less easy to access. As adults, our cynicism is often the primary lens through which we engage stories. Tolkien says that the real problem is that we are unable to see truth.

...The story-maker...makes a Secondary World which your mind can enter. Inside it, what he relates is 'true': it accords with the laws of that world. You therefore believe it, while you are, as it were, inside. The moment disbelief arises, the spell is broken; the magic, or rather the art, has failed. You are then out in the Primary World again, looking at the little abortive Secondary World from the outside.

Tolkien reflects back on his own engagement of fairy stories as a child:

Fairy-stories were plainly not primarily concerned with possibility, but with desirability. If they awakened desire, satisfying it while often whetting it unbearably, they succeeded.

On the awakening of desire for danger and adventure:

The dweller in the quiet and fertile plains may hear of the tormented hills and the unharvested sea and long for them in his heart. For the heart is hard though the body be soft.

On growing up:

Children are meant to grow up, and not to become Peter Pans. Not to lose innocence and wonder, but to proceed on the appointed journey: that journey upon which it is certainly not better to travel hopefully than to arrive, though we must travel hopefully if we are to arrive.

On "Thou shalt not":

... the gentlest 'nursery-tales' know it. Even Peter Rabbit was forbidden a garden, lost his blue coat, and took sick. The Locked Door stands as an eternal Temptation.

On "The Great Escape":

And lastly there is the oldest and deepest desire, the Great Escape: the Escape from Death. Fairy-stories provide many examples and modes of this ... Fairy-stories are made by men not by fairies. The Human-stories of the elves are doubtless full of the Escape from Deathlessness.

On the fantastical imagination:

Fantasy remains a human right: we make in our measure and in our derivative mode, because we are made: and not only made, but made in the image and likeness of a Maker.

The mind that thought of light, heavy, grey, yellow, still, swift also conceived of magic that would make heavy things light and able to fly, turn grey lead into yellow gold, and the still rock into swift water. If it could do the one, it could do the other; it inevitably did both. When we have taken green from the grass, blue from heaven, and red from blood, we have already an enchanter's power.

tom tom waits

this year i want to absorb all of tom waits. that is a lofty goal, but you see, i suffer from massive gaps in my music history: i was raised in a religious bubble in another country. i've had to dive into entire discographies to educate myself, pour over wikipedia articles, i've had to look for guides. the way i've done it is to choose an artist per year, or per season. i spent a year with nick drake, then one with bob dylan, the next one with johnny cash. spent a summer with leonard cohen then a spring time with the allman brothers. a fall with paul simon. i tried to spend a season with led zepplin but didn't get them. i'll have to return to zepplin, for there is much to understand and feel. last year was spent with pink floyd. well, i had tried tom waits before and didn't get him. abbrassive, annoying. but at the recommendation of many respected music lovers, i'm trying him out again, and i think it's starting to click. so far i've worked my way from 1973 to 1977. and i've jumped ahead to mule variations and can't stop listening to that record. so, dear reader, what's your favorite tom waits record? what advice do you have for a new listener?

sonseed

i saw the video a year ago, and i guess you could say it was just a matter of time before this made it to my blog. the first question upon viewing, is always "is this for real?" the answer is yes, they were a real band. a catholic rock band to be exact. the next response is always one of shock and disbelief. well, since it's viral spread all over the internet, the people behind the band were tracked down and interviewed. they have even been the topic of an article in one of my favorite theology and arts publications, image journal.
watch the video. read the interview. be amazed... the colors, the rhythms, the ironically non-catholic theology, the nuances of each face, the simultaneity of belief and disbelief... soak it in. dance if you want to. or not.

I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure...

To give up running is to hold him in contempt. To win is to honor him.

- E. Liddell from Chariots of Fire.